View Full Version : keg cannon
05-22-2003, 11:55 AM
i have solved all the beer drinkers problems.... im going to build a keg cannon and make millions and serve doc and all the other drinkers out there at tucks.... did you ever see a spud gun (potato launcher)??? i have an idea to build a giant one at pinkham that will launch the kegs into the ravine... the cannon would surely have to pack a punch... and we could attatch parachutes to the kegs (so we dont kill anyone innocently skiing in the ravine)
any takers?? ill get to work on a blueprint..
Adam that might work, but I have just nailed the plan. Ride the lift to the top of Wildcat, launch the hang gliders and fly into the Ravine...tough on a windy day, but just the ticket for early May...cept'n Wildcat's usually closed then.
05-22-2003, 12:37 PM
RR, then you'll have to buy a :liftticket: at Wildcat to ride the :gondola: . This means you you will not have earned your turns up at Tucks since you 'flew' in. Therefore you will not have earned your :beer: either...
back to the drawing board!
05-22-2003, 01:20 PM
I dunno Dave, hang gliding is no easy thing... and quite the innovative approach to getting onesself and ones beer into the ravine . Furthermore, he would either have to hike out with said glider or again hike the headwall to glide back out to Pinckham.
05-22-2003, 01:41 PM
GUESS WHO IS A HANGLIDER PILOT? DRPHIDDLEPHOS IS A HANG 1 PILOT AND I WOULD LOVE TO TELL YOU ALL THAT IT WOULD BE THAT EASY, BUT ITS A QUESTION OF WEIGHT RATIO! A TWO ONCE BIRD CANNOT CARRY A ONE POUND COCONUT, WELL MAYBE AN AFRICAN SWALLOW! RIGHT MAYBE AN AFRICAN SWALLOW NOT AN ENGLISH ONE... ANY WAY I HAVE A 17 FOOT WING AND I AM SORRY TO TELL YOU THAT IT IS QUITE IMPOSSIBLE TO CARRY EVEN A LOG INTO THE BOWL. I'M SURE I COULD LAND IN THE RUN OUT BUT IT WOULD BE TOUGH TO GET BACK UP. MAYBE IF I CLIMBED LIONS HEAD I COULD GET BACK DOWN BUT IT WOULD BE VERY DIFFICULT TO FIND A THERMAL NEAR THE SNOW, NOT TO MENTION THE CROSS WINDS COMMING OFF OF THE BOWL AND TOP OF RIDGE LINE. SORRY GUYS! BUT THE BEER CANNON WOULD BE A MORE LOGICAL APPROACH THAN FLYING IT IN :mad: :beer:
05-22-2003, 04:43 PM
So what is the average air speed of the coconut?
would that be a Hawiian coconut?
Maybe next year I'll do the two year trip, just to implment the brew-it-there plan. You see, most of the weight of the beer is the water. So you use the water from the stream. Have to filter it, and you only need to boil one gallon of it (probably get away with boiling far less if you had a fuel problem), anyhow, let's say 1/2 gallon. You have to boil for about 45 min. Then add another 4.5 gal and seal the whole thing up in a thick plastic bag, and bury it with a clever airlock that'll keep the beasties out. Or maybe some open-air ferment with a screen on top to keep the racoons from stealing your party.
Come back in a few weeks and voila! You have a bag of beer waiting. Not carbonated or conditioned or anything... but hey, you only had to carry about 1oz of fuel and less than a pound of malt extract, and you got yourself 5 gallons of beer.
Of course the cannon involves gunpowder... which is a big plus.
Actually... thinking about that plan more, the whole burying it is the only major problem. If you could talk the rangers into letting you just store a plastic fermenter (way lite on the way up) the plan would work pretty damn well.
05-22-2003, 05:59 PM
Yeah :ma: , I find it hard to believe that the rangers could not be convinced (er, coerced?) to allow a barrel fermenter to hang out, in exchange for beer, of course.
I cannot tell you the average air speed of an Hawaiin coconut, but I can tell you the force with which a Floridian coconut hits the ground. Well, a baby coconut about the size of a tennis ball. It strikes with sufficient force to cause temporary blindness/dizziness (read: mild concussion) and a goose egg on the scull about the size of a golf ball. note: do not drive around coconut territory in a convertible w/ top down!!!! :mad: :mad: :mad: (fortunately I wasn't driving)
05-24-2003, 02:21 PM
True story??? You actually got whacked by a 'nut? I ALMOST did back in like '78 on vacation. Missed me by like 2 feet and nearly scared the waste product out of me. I was hanging out with a few Disney employees that I met (OK, one girl in particular that I met...the rest were her friends) and they looked at me like "Duh, they fall from time to time"....guess I never thought about it before.....course back in '78 I was only like 20...young and foolish...but I prattle on here....Have fun, be safe, watch out for falling "nuts. Al :skistooge:
05-24-2003, 05:34 PM
Yup, true story. I screemed so loud that the driver nearly swerved off the road into, yep, you guessed it, a coconut tree. I seriously believe that if it had been a mature coconut I would have been in the hospital in serious, nay, critical condition, or maybe the morgue. Fortunately we were on our way to see our friends, one a nurse practitioner and the other a neural pathologist MD and they diagnosed me with a mild concussion, told me to drink 1 beer, and only one, (something about thinning the blood ....) and not to go to sleep for at least 4 hours.
05-27-2003, 05:05 PM
so if the coconut was larger would it have required more beers? elwood is the king of smashing coconuts over his head. i don't know how or why he does it but i have seen him do 3 in a row before he cracked his head open! he is a real life nut cracker! and yes there is usually :beer: involved when he is making an :packdonkey: out of himself, although it is quite the spectical to observe. i have never seen anyone else do it and succeed! leave it to elwood it is his gift from god, i guess. and it was a :map: coconut.
05-28-2003, 06:05 PM
God graced me with a hard head. I thank Him every day for it, because a couple of bottles would have put me in the hospital by now if it wasn't as hard as it is. :D
06-05-2003, 06:35 PM
Our new keg ascension device. The keg would need a self deploying parachute, no problem there. The range is sufficient that Tuckerman Brewing Company could employ several of these on busy weekends. The device would release its payload then go back to the brewery and deploy it's own parachute for a safe return.
Keg Ascension Device, model prototype 14 (http://www.interestingprojects.com/cruisemissile/)
Radio jamming and poof someone in the Gulf of Slides nabs the beer and we go thirsty....too risky.
Winter cache: sleds, disguised kegs on the sleds, pack shovels. Slide the brew up the hill and after dark, when the Ravine is empty bury the kegs in the snow. But first dig deep enough to biuld a tarp walled, sled floored room, use the reflective tarps. Connect several fully charges truck batteries to a VR and connect a few light bulbs. Stack the kegs a foot off the floor so they will be near the reflective sled ceiling (spray adhesive and some mylar laminate will do just fine), plug in the lights, flop the ceiling into place, and cover with well packed snow. Do this on a day with likely natural snow and make sure to get the coordinates!
Return to the shelters for some well deserved hot sake and supper. Later in the spring...cold beer and lots of it!
07-15-2003, 10:24 PM
HELIUM, HELIUM, HELIUM
F%$^&ng Brilliant. All these ideas on modes of transportation and finally someone realizes the truth - "there is no spoon". Just lighten the load!!! It seems to me that it would make my pack weigh a lot less. Next year my pack weight goal is -25 pounds!! Woo hoo!
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